Preparing Your Child for Therapy

Have you decided to seek therapy for your child for the first time? Congratulations! This is a big, important step. By this point, you’ve probably spoken with your child’s doctor and/or teachers. You may have sought a referral, done lots of research, or requested recommendations from friends. Then you reached out and made an appointment. Now comes the part that feels the toughest for many parents and caregivers: preparing your child for therapy and their very first session.

Our clinician and licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Areej Iftaiha reads a story in one of our bright, child-friendly therapy spaces.

Therapy can be a new and foreign concept for many children, and broaching the subject for the first time may feel challenging. That’s why we put together the following list of suggestions for preparing your child for therapy with compassion and reassurance. Continue reading for our tips.

1. Tailor your initial approach to your child’s age

Preparing your child for therapy can look different depending on where they are developmentally. For a young child, it is helpful to relate therapy to experiences they already understand. You could say something along the lines of “When we feel sick, we go to the doctor. When our teeth need to be cleaned, we go to the dentist. And when we have big or tricky feelings that we don’t understand, we go to the therapist.”

An older child might benefit from more specifics about how the therapist can be helpful for them. For example, if your child has been shutting down at school, you could say something along the lines of “this therapist is really good at helping kids learn how to feel more in control of their routine and their work during the school day.” 

No matter their age, try to focus on how the therapist will be another helpful person in the child’s corner – it’s crucial that the child doesn’t internalize therapy as being a consequence or punishment, which of course is never the case. 

2. Read a therapy-themed children’s book together

There are a number of children’s books on the market that are designed to help guide the conversation when preparing your child for therapy. Here are just a few: My Book About Play Therapy, When a Donut Goes to Therapy, and Some Bunny to Talk to: A Story About Going to Therapy. All of these suggestions are written by licensed clinicians, and they serve as a great jumping off point for discussions about therapy while also answering several commonly-asked questions.

3. Preview the website together

Many therapy offices (including our practice) have websites that feature photos of the therapy spaces, as well as bios and/or pictures of the therapists. Reading a little about the therapist and seeing their smiling face ahead of time might be reassuring for your child. In addition, some children are excited when they see photos of the toys that play-based therapists often have!

Photos of play therapy spaces like this one in our office may help set a child's mind at ease about their first appointment

4. Learn about first appointment logistics 

Whether you glean this information from the website or you speak with the office directly, asking the following questions will give both you and your child a better understanding of what to expect:  

• Do we sit in a waiting room when we arrive? 

• How long will the appointment be? 

• Do parents attend the first appointment with the child? 

• What typically happens during the first appointment?

• Any other questions that are weighing on your or your child’s mind

5. Give them the opportunity for agency

Once your child knows the purpose of therapy and how it might be beneficial, invite them to share any hopes or questions they have about ways in which the therapist might be able to help them. They may not have anything to say, and that’s perfectly OK, but leaving the door open to discuss their challenges with you and with the therapist offers them some ownership and autonomy regarding their own mental health.

6. Provide additional reassurance when needed

As additional questions or worries arise, do your best to address your child’s concerns. Reassure them that even if they’re still not fully sure what to expect, the therapist will be there to provide guidance and support. Speaking from our own experience, we have actively participated in many, many first-time therapy appointments with our clients, and we know how to make children and their caregivers feel comfortable, welcome, and safe. 

As you begin this new journey, know that some children –  and even adults – won’t feel quite settled until they’ve had their first appointment and see what’s entailed with their own eyes, and that’s OK. The most important takeaway is that preparing your child for therapy provides them with some much-needed reassurance that you and their new therapist have their best interests at heart.

Sources:

The Kids Mental Health Foundation 

Child Mind Institute