Screens, Teens, and the Holidays: Finding Connection in a Digital World

As the holidays approach, many families are preparing for a season that’s meant to be full of connection — but often feels full of… screens. Between travel downtime, flexible routines, and a well-earned break from school, it’s easy for technology use to spike this time of year.

Parents often tell us they feel torn: they want to set healthy limits, but they also recognize that their child’s online world is where they feel most comfortable, connected, and creative.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone — and it doesn’t mean you’re “doing it wrong.”

Technology can be regulating for teens and tweens

For many kids and teens, technology isn’t just entertainment; it’s a regulating space. Video games, favorite YouTubers, or Roblox can offer predictable routines, shared interests, and social opportunities that might feel easier to navigate than in-person gatherings. During the holiday season — when schedules, sensory environments, and social expectations all shift — those digital worlds can actually serve as an anchor.

Read below for some ideas to help you and your teen find screen time balance

Screen Time Limits vs. Balance at the Holidays

It’s natural for families to want a balance — to enjoy time together, get outside, or have meaningful conversations that don’t include a headset. So, instead of focusing on strict screen “limits,” we often encourage families to think about connection goals.

Here are a few ideas that can help you and your tween or teen find that balance:

1. Collaborate, don’t control. Instead of announcing rules, have a conversation. Ask your teen what feels helpful about their tech use, what makes it hard to unplug, and what kinds of family time they actually enjoy. Co-creating a plan (even a loose one) builds buy-in and reduces power struggles.

2. Name the need, not just the behavior. If your child retreats into a game after a long social day, that’s not necessarily defiance — it’s decompression. Recognizing this can help you guide them toward regulation rather than punishment.

3. Blend worlds. Join them in their world sometimes — watch a stream, learn about their favorite game, or let them teach you something online. And invite them into yours — baking cookies, watching a movie together, or taking a walk to see holiday lights.

4. Create gentle transitions. Instead of “time’s up,” try “let’s wrap up this round and grab some hot chocolate.” Clear cues and small rituals help kids (and adults!) shift gears more peacefully.

5. Model flexibility and self-care. We all reach for screens when we’re tired or overstimulated. Showing that you understand and manage your own digital habits helps kids do the same without shame.

   
   

The holidays don’t have to be a battle between family time and screen time. When we approach technology with curiosity and compassion, we can help our kids (and ourselves) find more ease and connection — both online and off.

Connection does not have to look a certain way!

How to Connect with Your Teen and Their Screen

If this season feels overwhelming, remember that connection doesn’t have to look a certain way. It can be laughter over a meme, quiet companionship while gaming, or a short moment of presence between the chaos. What matters most is that we keep showing up for each other.

If your family could use some support navigating technology and connection this season, our therapists are here to help.